Creative Stories

At the end of the day Laurie (aka Dandy Walker) and I were talking about articulate youths and thier lies - namely - ourselves. We know that none of our darling students lie nor even stretch the truth to fit their purposes *cough* *hack*. I told Laurie that my siblings were gullible targets and promised to blog a few choice favorites.

• The Infamous Broken Balloon Lie - This one was inspired by an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle in which Boris and Natasha are stuck on a hot air balloon with no rope and no way to get back down. Now at the time, I was six and my sister was five. The perfect age for someone with a year of school tucked under their belt to prey upon another just learning the ropes. My sister was chewing on a very gross balloon. It had a hole and would not be sailing any maiden voayage into the heavens. Within a short time, sis had actually chewed the top off and was showing that you could still blow air through this and pretend the balloon was still attached. That's when she swallowed it. I can tell you what I didn't do. I didn't go get help or slap her on the back to knock it out. Instead I said, "Now every time you take a breath, it's going to get bigger until you float away and die." She ran home, her hand covering her mouth to block air while crying, "Mom, I don't want to die!" How did I know she was going to believe it? I mean there was no balloon attached to take in air. My mom didn't buy it either.
• The Infamous Green Bean Lie - This one was also inspired by an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle in which plants are taking over the town. Same age. Same victim. I don't know how we got on the topic, but in short: I told my sister that green beans had seeds in the pod. Every time you ate a bean, the seeds would grow in your stomach, the plant would take over, and you would die. My sister was starting to wise up. "How come it doesn't happen to you?" I replied matter-of-factly, "Because I'm six. Your body changes and they let you go to school all day. She didn't say anything. Now, what vegetable do you think my mom served with almost every meal? Green beans. The one that she could be sure would be eaten by three picky kids. My sister was eating hers slowly that night. She cut each one in half, picked out each little seed, and then ate the bean with the seeds pushed over to the far side of the plate. My mom asked her if she was okay. "Mom," she cried, "I don't want to die!" Same ending.

Ah yes, fond memories. I guess that's what makes a good teacher. Someone with practice who knows what to watch out for.